Recently, a man interested in dating me asked, “What can I do so you’ll want to go out with me?”
My first reaction was I didn’t want to hurt him. I like him as a friend and spending time with him, but not beyond that. As fast as that reaction came, another immediately followed--why would he think there was anything for him to change about himself? My liking him just as a friend didn’t mean there was anything to fix.
I began from, “I don’t want to hurt you” and straight to, “there’s nothing for you to change, there’s nothing you’re doing wrong.” He pursued, thinking there had to be. It struck a chord in me. I wasn’t going down that path, for him to think there was anything wrong with him. I said what we had, is a difference in what we wanted our relationship to be.
How many times have you thought, because someone had a different view, there was something wrong with you, that you were flawed, and needed to change for them to like or want to be with you? Did you think if you just (fill in the blank), you could make it happen?
You are not flawed. There is nothing wrong with you.
Do you doubt that?
Maybe there are aspects of yourself you’re not content with, that you’d like to change as YOU want a different way of living, feeling, or perceiving. Notice, however, this is in reference to you, not another person! This type of change and transformation comes from a deep place within you, not the surface. You are the reference point, not someone else, who you hope will like you, love you, desire you, or work with you. It’s about YOU feeling this way about yourself.
If there are aspects of yourself you’d like to change, there’s still time to attend one (or all!) of my upcoming events this month, but you’ll have to act now as they start this week and end by October 14th! These are my last Delaware events until next April, 2018 – I plan on enjoying warm winter weather in Arizona. Click here to view my events!
I hope to see you,
Beth
My first reaction was I didn’t want to hurt him. I like him as a friend and spending time with him, but not beyond that. As fast as that reaction came, another immediately followed--why would he think there was anything for him to change about himself? My liking him just as a friend didn’t mean there was anything to fix.
I began from, “I don’t want to hurt you” and straight to, “there’s nothing for you to change, there’s nothing you’re doing wrong.” He pursued, thinking there had to be. It struck a chord in me. I wasn’t going down that path, for him to think there was anything wrong with him. I said what we had, is a difference in what we wanted our relationship to be.
How many times have you thought, because someone had a different view, there was something wrong with you, that you were flawed, and needed to change for them to like or want to be with you? Did you think if you just (fill in the blank), you could make it happen?
You are not flawed. There is nothing wrong with you.
Do you doubt that?
Maybe there are aspects of yourself you’re not content with, that you’d like to change as YOU want a different way of living, feeling, or perceiving. Notice, however, this is in reference to you, not another person! This type of change and transformation comes from a deep place within you, not the surface. You are the reference point, not someone else, who you hope will like you, love you, desire you, or work with you. It’s about YOU feeling this way about yourself.
If there are aspects of yourself you’d like to change, there’s still time to attend one (or all!) of my upcoming events this month, but you’ll have to act now as they start this week and end by October 14th! These are my last Delaware events until next April, 2018 – I plan on enjoying warm winter weather in Arizona. Click here to view my events!
I hope to see you,
Beth
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