Beth Keil
(302) 598-9642
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What do outliers, tribes, and you have in common?

5/27/2015

1 Comment

 
S.H.I.N.E

Some months back I met someone who totally got me! She was a member of my "tribe" understanding me so well from the start----that I process my thoughts and feelings best out loud, she shares my exuberance and energy, and that connections and relationships are at the core of who I am.

Have you ever met a person that just gets you?   

Such people affirm who we are. Since they're in our tribe we know we're not alone. It's a wonderfully supportive and nourishing place to be when you're with them. It's like coming home.

Some months back I also renewed an old friendship. They are not in my "tribe". I am not with the choir, I don't get that coming home feeling and instead they confront and challenge my comfort zones in ways tribe members can't. In the process they've provide me the opportunity to explore aspects of myself that lay dormant, untapped, and unexplored. 

What people outside our tribe bring into our lives is as important, if not more important, than what fellow tribe members do. Being at home is vital as it nourishes us and we can be out in the world well fed. But here's the thing---we won't grow the same way. We need those outliers to give us the opportunity to see the world through different eyes and ears, but only if we're willing to let go of our perceptions. We need to let go of having a ready response and bring our curiosity instead.

Here's how I used the S.H.I.N.E process to assist me in becoming clear:

S=getting unStuck. 

I hadn't realized how my current thinking stopped me from seeing other aspects of myself because I hadn't really noticed them. 

H=pushing past Hurdles

In order to invite change I needed to get out of my own way and plunge in even when my comfort zone was being pinged. Sometimes all we need is what a person who is about to jump out of a plane taps into the second before they jump. 

I=clarifying your Intentions

My intention of being fully alive became crystal clear when I was looking at my marriage and how I was living. I do need to remind myself at times which brings back to my why (this is a link to a great TED talk by Simon Sinek titled How Great Leaders Inspire Action and the power of WHY---he focuses on business but this is relevant to every individual as well. Take a listen; I'd love to know what you think!)

N=Nurture your dreams

I’m doing this through my friendships, my work and business, and my self-care. This process, both of creating and living my life, takes energy and my self-care is integral in creating sustainable energy. 

E=Embracing your brilliance

Voila'! Everything above comes together here. I am embracing who I am, living with greater joy, and see the results of how challenging my comfort zones has let me be more than who I thought I was or could be. For me this is amazing!

If you want to learn how to use the S.H.I.N.E process contact me.

Beth
1 Comment

Are you a Sally?

5/20/2015

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I am a Sally woman.

If you don't understand the reference then you've missed seeing a great movie that has many memorable lines and scenes. The movie, When Harry Met Sally, put "on the side" on the map (as well as "I'll have what's she's having."). If you haven't seen it I suggest you do! It's a timeless film.   

Back to being a Sally woman....

All of this started many years ago when I ordered a large unsweetened iced tea with 10 pieces of lemon on the side; I also remember asking to see how large the cup was before I told them how many lemons I needed. This all made perfect sense to me----I like (obviously!) a lot of lemon and how much I need depends on how much iced tea I get. On the side----I hate fishing lemon slices out of my drink. If you have sunscreen or lotion on your hands then it gets into your drink and who wants that?  When I was asked for the third time in a short span of time if I had seen this movie I knew I needed to figure this out.  That's when I had a name for what I was: a Sally woman. 

The fourth time I was in Toronto, Canada and at that time no restaurant served unsweetened iced tea! Can you imagine?? They made iced tea using a sugary syrup. So I ordered a pot of hot tea with 10 pieces of lemon and 2 large glasses filled with lots of ice. When the waitress brought my drink she said all of the wait staff was wondering what I was going to do. Once I explained it she asked, "Have you ever seen the movie When Harry Met Sally?" Knowingly I nodded my head and said "yes"; when I returned the next day I was affectionately referred to (at least in my mind) as Sally Girl.  

Who would have figured that ordering iced tea would become a way to live: to clearly ask for what you want? What a simple but powerful lesson.

Do you get the number of "lemons" you need?  Do you settle and say okay when it's not without checking out the possibilities?  Imagine for a moment what would become possible if you did!  Don't know how or you're afraid to order?  Ask for your complimentary S.H.I.N.E consultation today and get started!

With 10 pieces of lemon on the side please,*

Beth  

*Many thanks to the wait staff at the Seasons Pizza by my office who give me 2 quartered lemons with my iced tea without my needing to ask!

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I don't want to do this anymore!

5/6/2015

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May is a special month for me as it's when my children were born; it was when my life profoundly changed by becoming a mom even for the second time and a new rhythm of life began.  

You don't need the birth of a child for a new rhythm to start as any transition (major or minor) will do that too. Regardless of whether you planned this transition or not a new rhythm can be uncomfortable, intense, and rock your world. I don't want to sound trite when I say it's the nature of transitions to do just that. It reminds me of what's referred to as "transition" during birth.  

During this time, when a laboring woman is unmedicated, she may say "I don't want to do this anymore" or "I want to go home now". When I attended births (200+), I would tell her in an excited voice: "This means your baby is coming soon!" Her affect would change in that moment and she'd return to the process of birthing reassured in her ability to do this.

Is there something you're gestating or nurturing that's just waiting to be born?  

Ask yourself these important questions---what do I need to support me during this "birthing"? Who do I need to reassure me, to let me know when I'm almost there or that I can do it? I don't know about you but I can't always do that alone and I sure can't do it over a long period of time. I have many circles of people who are in what I call my tribes and they are the people I ask for support and help. It can be in the form of coaching, talking over a cup of coffee, energy work, a hug, a card in the mail (sorry, email doesn't do it like having a card in your hand!).  

Because this is my children's birth-day month, I'm reminded of my friend, Barbara, who is also a doula. She was the support person for my eldest child as we were having a homebirth and we needed someone who could exclusively focus on him. It was around 5am and I'd been in labor since 7:11 pm the night before. My son and husband were asleep so Barbara was with me. I remember saying I didn't know what else to do to birth this baby!  After she gave me a homeopathic remedy she gently stroked my back and I began crying. I was surrendering to the process with her gentle support. Barbara was holding the space for me to transition into whatever it was I needed to be so my little one would be born. Her skills as a doula and her friendship were so reassuring. 40 minutes later my baby was born.    

What support do you need? I hope you'll consider me as your doula if you need help during your transition, with "birthing" your possibilities. When you're ready just contact me. Ready now? Visit Hypnosis Services of Delaware to schedule a consultation!  

Beth
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    Beth Keil

    Beth is a Board Certified Hypnotist, certified in 5-PATH® Hypnosis and a certified 7th Path Self-Hypnosis® instructor.

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