Some months back I met someone who totally got me! She was a member of my "tribe" understanding me so well from the start----that I process my thoughts and feelings best out loud, she shares my exuberance and energy, and that connections and relationships are at the core of who I am.
Have you ever met a person that just gets you?
Such people affirm who we are. Since they're in our tribe we know we're not alone. It's a wonderfully supportive and nourishing place to be when you're with them. It's like coming home.
Some months back I also renewed an old friendship. They are not in my "tribe". I am not with the choir, I don't get that coming home feeling and instead they confront and challenge my comfort zones in ways tribe members can't. In the process they've provide me the opportunity to explore aspects of myself that lay dormant, untapped, and unexplored.
What people outside our tribe bring into our lives is as important, if not more important, than what fellow tribe members do. Being at home is vital as it nourishes us and we can be out in the world well fed. But here's the thing---we won't grow the same way. We need those outliers to give us the opportunity to see the world through different eyes and ears, but only if we're willing to let go of our perceptions. We need to let go of having a ready response and bring our curiosity instead.
Here's how I used the S.H.I.N.E process to assist me in becoming clear:
I hadn't realized how my current thinking stopped me from seeing other aspects of myself because I hadn't really noticed them.
H=pushing past Hurdles
In order to invite change I needed to get out of my own way and plunge in even when my comfort zone was being pinged. Sometimes all we need is what a person who is about to jump out of a plane taps into the second before they jump.
I=clarifying your Intentions
My intention of being fully alive became crystal clear when I was looking at my marriage and how I was living. I do need to remind myself at times which brings back to my why (this is a link to a great TED talk by Simon Sinek titled How Great Leaders Inspire Action and the power of WHY---he focuses on business but this is relevant to every individual as well. Take a listen; I'd love to know what you think!)
N=Nurture your dreams
I’m doing this through my friendships, my work and business, and my self-care. This process, both of creating and living my life, takes energy and my self-care is integral in creating sustainable energy.
E=Embracing your brilliance
Voila'! Everything above comes together here. I am embracing who I am, living with greater joy, and see the results of how challenging my comfort zones has let me be more than who I thought I was or could be. For me this is amazing!
If you want to learn how to use the S.H.I.N.E process contact me.