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Do you get lost in translation?

6/24/2015

We just had the Summer Solstice Sunday, June 21, the longest day of the year. For years, I didn't understand how that could be, given there's always 24 hours in a day (do you get I can be very literal?). Then, thanks to Google, I found out it is defined by how much sunlight there is. I for one, would have called it the longest day of sunlight of the year.

Words can be so inaccurate, can't they? We may understand what we're saying, but it doesn't mean others do. That "getting lost in translation" can lead to misunderstandings, expectations, and hurt feelings. It's like a game of "Operator". Getting lost in translation happens when what we say goes through another person's filter (aka: history wrapped in the emotional experience) and vice versa. Unfortunately, these filters are invisible. I guarantee you, if the subject is emotionally charged, those filters are getting pinged. When you add technology to the mix---texting, IMing or emailing---the likelihood of getting lost in translation skyrockets! You can't hear tone of voice or read body language. These subtleties are part of being human, as are our filters.

Here are 2 key ways to keep you from getting lost in translation:

1. Keep emotionally charged conversations to face-to-face communication

If you can't be face-to-face use Skype, FaceTime or another virtual platform as your second choice.

If you're avoiding an emotionally charged conversation and thinking of reaching for a keyboard or touch screen ---DON'T. You will only complicate the situation. Deconstructing how you are feeling and thinking is the place to start. From my years of experience as a hypnotist, I can guarantee there's a fear of yours getting triggered. What is it? Get clear of what you're experiencing first. This will actually help prevent your filters from getting in the way of a meaningful conversation and some kind of resolution.

2. Check things out

This is a wonderful skill to learn and use. Reflective listening is checking in with the other person by asking them what they've heard you say. This way, you can understand how you are being heard and clarify as needed. Non-violent Communication by Rosenberg is a great book to learn how to really listen to another person (reflective listening) and be clear in what you say.

As Jim and I are uncoupling we're seeing a couple's therapist; I realize this might seem odd but it's not. Walt Ciecko helps us to see when our filters are pinging, what they are and to navigate through emotionally charged conversations. Jim and I are committed to staying amicable and this is part of that commitment.

Is it always easy? No. Is it worth it? Absolutely!

Beth

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Untying the Not

6/18/2015

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Do Not-s get in your way?

I'm not able to do because….
Now is not the perfect time
It's not possible

Here are 3 great ways to untie you NOTs:

1. Do a reality check

It's a great place to start. Ask yourself, "Is this true?" If your answer is yes now ask "Is it absolutely true?" Be aware not wanting to isn't the same as not being able to.

You don't have to tell people you don't want (verse can't) to do something for them especially if they can't hear that but you knowing the difference is a powerful distinction.

2. There is never a perfect time

If you think there is then think again. Waiting for THE perfect time has more to do with your fear then timing. What if good is good enough? Perfection is a strategy to not be in action nor risk the outcome. If you haven't been scared then you haven't reached far enough or risked going after something worth having.

3. Will you regret not going for it?

Are you prepared to live with the regret of being tied in a NOT? In the last 5 years I've made pivotal choices asking this question; when the answer has been a resounding YES I go for it! I've had regrets (different from living with regrets) of not having gone down the road less traveled and I'm committed to living wholeheartedly and risk.

Here's to untying your NOTs!

Beth

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Clocks, Intuition, and Peace

6/10/2015

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Last Wednesday I planned on attending an early morning seminar. I set my alarm so I'd be up early enough to meditate and workout; neither happened. The alarm went off at 5:40am and I "negotiated" meditating later in the day as I needed more sleep. When the next alarm went off 20 minutes later I "negotiated" some more sleep and that I would workout when I came home at the end of the evening. Then in the middle of a dream and heard myself say, "I have to get up!" I realized my alarm never went off and it was now 20+ minutes later than I intended to get out of bed!

I knew I was going to be late to the seminar when I left my house. Seven miles into the drive I got the sense that I wasn't supposed to be there. "Really?" I asked myself. I know better than to question my intuition. So I turned around and headed to a coffee shop to do some work on my computer.

On the way I experienced the most incredible feeling----God's embrace. Actually it was more like I was enveloped. A deep sense of peace and love came over me; I knew everything was perfect, that everything was as it should be, and that I'm safe and protected. My 3rd and 4th chakras felt as if they were infused with this peace and love. It was profound.

I realized by listening to my intuition God's presence and love made itself known when it did. If I had continued to the seminar, let alone attended it, I would have been focused elsewhere and missed this incredible experience.

What does your intuition whisper in your ear? Are you listening?

In this culture it's easy to learn to pooh-pooh this inner way of knowing. There are times you may question it or want some type of guarantee it's correct. I completely understand! Sometimes it's like a leap of faith to listen and act on it. I've found, however, the more I listen and follow my intuition I tap into another level of awareness and peace. A level of trust in myself increases living my life more aligned from the inside out.

Here's to trust!

Beth

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Are your habits friend or foe?

6/3/2015

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There are habits and routines I count on especially the daily ones: my alarm waking me up in the morning, my morning meditation, and working out. There are the weekly ones: creating my week, writing this email to you, grocery shopping, and getting new DVDs from the library. The monthly routines include reconciling my financial statements and weekends I'll take off.

Maybe this sounds too structured for you or just right.

Even if you like spontaneity in your life you also rely on habit to get you through your day perhaps in ways you don’t even recognize. That's the power of habit! Without habits you would use precious time doing routine things from brushing your teeth, driving your car, and using a computer just to name a few of the habits you already have. It saves the conscious mind energy and time. Imagine if you had to learn these habits every day, step by step? I don't know about you but I find logging onto websites I don’t regularly go on just like this----I have to recall/find the login, password, and pin; you might as well as ask me what I had for breakfast June 3, 1990!

In his interesting and entertaining book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg not only explains habits but how a subtle change in a habit can have profound effects on individuals as well as mega corporations. This 3.38 minute clip will explain you the Cue>Routine>Reward cycle that fuels positive and negative habits. Take a look and then come back…….it's less than 4 minutes and you'll find it useful!

Now this explanation of the Cue>Routine>Reward cycle is helpful but it's also incomplete. Understanding using one's intellectual intellect will give you a level of understanding that won't address the root cause of one's habit. I knew about calories (I was on Weight Watchers when I was 12 years old---my mother meant well) and the relationship between intake and physical activity. I even knew my eating was emotional in nature and had a good idea of the feelings I was using food to numb but it didn't help me lose the weight----I lie. I lost weight and very easily found it again! And picked up spare weight just like you do when you lose a key! This is why I now say "shed" weight, as in release and let go versus "lose" weight only to find it again.

The problem was the understanding came from my intellect.

That's what's missing from Duhigg's explanation of how to change a habit----the importance of understanding the emotional trigger(s) of the root cause through one's emotional intelligence. I'm speaking of habits such as smoking, an unhealthy relationship with food and/or eating, sexual issues, and the ways you think that leads to sadness, anxiousness, stress, etc.. This is where hypnosis makes the difference. The way I work with people is to go to the emotional root/trigger(s) using their emotional intelligence so they stop resonating. Do that and the habit sheds it's power and lasting change happens. If you've never seen the difference hypnosis made in my weight check my picture out!

Need some assistance? Feel free to schedule online your 15 minute complimentary phone consultation right now by clicking here and scrolling down to the icon Hypnosis Consult and click. It's that easy! You'll have access to upcoming dates and times that fit your schedule.

Here's to changing those habits that are getting in the way of your life!

Beth

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Do you get lost in translation?

Untying the Not

Clocks, Intuition, and Peace

Are your habits friend or foe?

Beth Keil

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