Have you ever reached for something that seemed to call your name? It could be food, the refrigerator, a cigarette, or even a drink. And when you answer its call, have you noticed that you don’t feel good about yourself or what you did for giving in to it?

You’ve just experienced BECKONING.

Beckoning occurs when you have an unmet emotional need, want, or desire and substitute it with distractor, something that can’t truly take care of what’s not being met. A distractor can only temporarily take your attention away, but once you’re done using it, or its effects have worn off, you’re back to square one. You might even be further back than that, as you might have added shame and guilt to the mix.

HUMMING is different.

It happens when you listen from the inside to what it is you truly need, want or desire and then, directly address it. For example, when you listen this way, you eat because you’re hungry, eat the type of food that really satisfies, and stop when you’re full. In the case of alcohol, you don’t need to drink to numb yourself. If its cigarettes you reach for to relax, you instead use healthy ways that take care of your stress or discontent.

Take a listen to this week’s recording on Humming or Beckoning and start breaking through your distractor patterns now!

Here’s to you Life Breakthroughs!

Beth

Who ever made that up, who ever told us this was wasn’t telling, or didn’t know the truth. Words count and they have impact.

Right now clap your hands together, firmly. I’ll wait.

So, which hand hurts as a result? (If you didn’t clap, now’s the time to; I’m patient)

Did you notice both your hands were impacted? This is how toxic words work. Whether you speak them or hear them, you too are affected.

What are toxic words?

Any word that takes away your dignity as a human being - words that belittle, put down, shame, blame, make wrong, and/or judge. We may not even recognize them as toxic, over time we can become desensitized which only happens through repetition.

Why care?

According to a study done on water by Dr. Emoto, he demonstrated that words said to water (yes, water!) changed its molecular structure. Since the human body is estimated to be 60% water, imagine the impact of words we’re exposed to every day!

What next?

Take a listen to this recording I did on what to do with the toxic words around you!

Beth

I've never played the game Jenga, have you?

I finally got to play it last week at a party. It consists of blocks that you stack into a tower and then you remove one block at a time, placing the block you took on top of the tower. You do this hoping the tower doesn’t fall. Obviously, there will come a time when it will!

Here’s what this game taught me –

I began the game not wanting to make a mistake, so I was timid and serious at the start. After the first tower fell (not on me!) I got more and more comfortable removing blocks from the bottom, even as the tower would start to sway. I found I enjoyed being daring!

LESSON 1: Trying to look good impedes learning and experience. And having fun!

After learning Lesson 1, I began to see the tower differently, and as a result how I played changed. I paid attention to details I wouldn’t normally notice and experimented. After all, it wasn’t IF the tower would fall, but WHEN. Admittedly, when it did fall, we all laughed and rebuilt the tower and played again.

LESSON 2: Once you stop focusing on not making a mistake you’re capacity to learn expands. And having fun!

I didn’t know any of these people when I arrived. Lesson 2 led to becoming part of the group! Everyone was in this together; each with different styles of play, each playing their part.

LESSON 3: Working together creates its own energy and can build community. It’s definitely great when there’s a spirit of cooperation and, may I mention, fun!

Which leads me to….

LESSON 4: Play and fun does a person good! So why separate play and fun from our everyday life? What if you could combine things you do and add a touch of fun? You could dance as you vacuum, do the dishes, and/or brush your teeth. Skip as you go to another room in your home. How about taking a moment while online and look up a funny joke and share it with someone?

There’s always a game of Jenga!

Here’s a link to start your fun!

Here’s to your Life Breakthroughs!

Beth

We have a tendency to try and avoid making mistakes so we hedge our bets, doing our best to make sure if we change something, it’s without any ensuing problems or issues. As a result, the wrong mistake can be to do nothing and act as if nothing is wrong when, in fact, there is.

When making any change, it doesn’t mean diving in without first looking, but if what you want is to maintain safety and security, it won’t work. Inherent to change is change itself. It means you, too, will have to change. Without it, you’ll end up with old patterns that no longer serve you. You also end up stuck with more of nothing that’s wrong.

So, how do you avoid making this wrong mistake?

1. Be as clear as you can about what you want and need. Lack of clarity can come from doing something others around you haven’t or may judge negatively.

It could be the fear of choosing differently, with the perception that you won’t be accepted or loved, which creates the fog. Really ask yourself, “Is the response of fear, true?”

2. Acknowledge that any change will have a ripple effect. None of us can control all of the outcomes; we can, however, employ ways to deal with them. Enlist people you know who will bring in a different viewpoint to assist you and who will help you strategize your way through.

3. This is actually where to start: be neutral as you explore options. Whenever you judge, yourself or others, you limit what’s possible. Neutral is being in a calm state of mind and body as you look at the situation. It expands your ability to assess situations, freed from the perceptions/feelings that may have contributed to your current thinking. Here is a link to what the Dalai Lama said regarding Analytic Meditation, a practice that cultivates being neutral when looking at solutions.

Here’s to your Life Breakthroughs!

Beth