The other day I played checkers with my 7 year old nephew. I kept asking myself whether I should play to let him win and what would I teach him if I did that or played my (very rusty) best.
It was very obvious he was strategizing, looking a move or two ahead (I was impressed!). I knew he wanted to win (of course!). I acknowledged him for how well he was playing - how he was planning what moves to make and that I enjoyed how he was making me really think. When I had more kings then he did he took one of the crowns off my king and hid it. I mentioned the change I saw and he looked around for the checker when I saw it in his hand. He knew I saw it.
“What would I teach him?” popped up.
Again I told him how well he was playing figuring out his next move. I let him know he was challenging me to be a good player. Then I said I didn’t like that he wasn’t honest about what he did to my king to which he replied, “You don’t like that I cheated.” I said in a neutral voice, “I know you want to win, I just don’t like you weren’t honest with me.” To me there is a difference, a difference I didn’t go into with him as it wasn’t the time or place.
We continued to play and when I had more kings than him he suddenly ended the game. In my past I would have been told I was a sore loser and felt shamed. I didn’t want nor need to do that to him. I understood he was frustrated, he played his best, that he wanted to win, and he was 7 years old.
“What would I teach him?”
I thanked him once again for a good game. I told him he was really good at strategizing (saying this differently a few times) and how much he made me think, challenged me to do my best, and that I enjoyed playing with him.
What would he have learned if I let him win and not challenge him to be his best? What would he have learned if I shamed him?
Each of us, whether speaking with another person or to ourselves, is teaching.
What would you teach?
Beth
Remember you can easily and quickly schedule your 20 minute complimentary Discovery Session phone consultation and find out how hypnosis can help you get real results!
It was very obvious he was strategizing, looking a move or two ahead (I was impressed!). I knew he wanted to win (of course!). I acknowledged him for how well he was playing - how he was planning what moves to make and that I enjoyed how he was making me really think. When I had more kings then he did he took one of the crowns off my king and hid it. I mentioned the change I saw and he looked around for the checker when I saw it in his hand. He knew I saw it.
“What would I teach him?” popped up.
Again I told him how well he was playing figuring out his next move. I let him know he was challenging me to be a good player. Then I said I didn’t like that he wasn’t honest about what he did to my king to which he replied, “You don’t like that I cheated.” I said in a neutral voice, “I know you want to win, I just don’t like you weren’t honest with me.” To me there is a difference, a difference I didn’t go into with him as it wasn’t the time or place.
We continued to play and when I had more kings than him he suddenly ended the game. In my past I would have been told I was a sore loser and felt shamed. I didn’t want nor need to do that to him. I understood he was frustrated, he played his best, that he wanted to win, and he was 7 years old.
“What would I teach him?”
I thanked him once again for a good game. I told him he was really good at strategizing (saying this differently a few times) and how much he made me think, challenged me to do my best, and that I enjoyed playing with him.
What would he have learned if I let him win and not challenge him to be his best? What would he have learned if I shamed him?
Each of us, whether speaking with another person or to ourselves, is teaching.
What would you teach?
Beth
Remember you can easily and quickly schedule your 20 minute complimentary Discovery Session phone consultation and find out how hypnosis can help you get real results!
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