So what was her fear?
Finances - could she afford to support herself, pay her bills, budget, etc.. She told me she could continue to live at home after high school but realized she didn't know what she needed to make the transition of living on her own. I highlighted, it was a skill set she needed to develop and had nothing at all to do with her intelligence. The wonderful thing is skills can be learned! As I was saying this to her I was also saying this to myself.
I don't know about you but growing up I don't recall a distinction being made between a skills gap and being smart or intelligent. This is an incredibly important distinction to be made! So I referred her to the YWCA of Delaware and The Money School for classes on budgeting and finances. I also let her know that many grown-ups have the same skill gaps.
In those 4 minutes I watched her transform from being at the effect of a mind
habit - not looking at a situation for the skills gap that may exist to realizing she was capable of learning and could, therefore, "build on (her) skills."
What can you do?
Look at where you don't feel successful or competent and ask yourself if there's a skills gap going on; is there something you don't know how to do? If so, who can teach you? In some cases you might delegate the task to someone else and let you do what you do best.