Think back to when you were in primary school and for the first time you came up against being graded: A, B, C, D, and F (have you ever wondered what happened to E? Was it too many vowels to contend with?). You had to be taught these letters had another meaning besides being letters of the alphabet. Through your teacher's voice, expression or behavior, or by your parent's response to your report card, you were systematically taught the other meaning of these letters. At some, point an external representation (a letter) became internalized, and caused you to create a judgment of your worthiness and ability to be loveable.
What if you were able to distinguish the difference between the meaning of a letter and who you are?
Having a "bad" or unhealthy habit, behavior or thought isn't about being flawed! Read this sentence again. Having a "bad" or unhealthy habit, behavior or thought isn't about being flawed! Once you look beyond the surface and stop making yourself wrong then you can find out why you've been doing what's been causing you such distress or discomfort. This is when change, lasting change becomes possible.
When I work with clients I don't "grade" them as flawed, bad, or that something is wrong with them. I know from my work and years of experience there are whys behind every behavior, habit, or thought, and by getting to the cause and clearing the emotional resonance we create the opportunity for change to happen.